Paranoid and Ready

What to consider

  • Time is the mechanismNot unfindable, only slow to find. A burglar searching fifty objects is far less effective than one walking to an obvious safe.
  • Blend, do not stand outA book safe works on a shelf of books and fails on an empty one. Context matters more than the product.
  • Scatter, do not concentrateSmall amounts across several spots. If one is found the rest survive, and no single discovery is worth much.
  • Layer with a real safeNo fire, water or pry rating. Rated safe for documents and metal, concealment for cash, keys and quick access.

  • Emergency cashSmall notes, three to five spots. Nobody finds all of them in ten minutes.
  • Spare keysMagnetic boxes under metal, a bolt safe in the garden. Never the doormat, the frame or the mailbox.
  • USB drives and SD cardsSmall enough to hide almost anywhere. Encrypt them anyway.
  • Jewellery and small valuablesThe more ordinary the container, the more invisible it is.
  • Document copiesOriginals in a rated safe, a second set somewhere else entirely.

  • Kitchen and pantryOpaque food containers, the cabinet kickboard, an unused appliance.
  • BathroomA cleaned-out toiletry bottle, or the plumbing access panel behind the bath.
  • Laundry and utilityInside a detergent box, behind the machine, in a hanging coat. Low-priority rooms.
  • Living areasA hollowed book among many, a flat envelope behind wall art, a disused speaker.
  • Air ventsA container taped inside the duct behind the cover. Do not block the airflow.
  • Under drawersTaped to the underside, not inside. Works in any room.
  • False bottomsCard or thin ply cut to fit a drawer, shelf or box, then loaded over.
  • Garage and workshopAn old paint can, a toolbox with a false bottom, a bag of soil.
  • DIY PVC pipe cacheA capped, sealed length of pipe buried in a bed or fixed inside a wall reads as plumbing. Waterproof by design.
  • VehicleBehind interior panels, the spare tyre well, under a seat, an empty fuse box.